Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
