Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
