Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
