I wish i was in the wii world.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
