ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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