the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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