Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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