That's when you crack a 10am beer
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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