you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
