I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
ttyl tear gas
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
