Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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