Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
