she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
