please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
