we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
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Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
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We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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