we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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