There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
