The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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