Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
