the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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