You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
