Can Purell be used as lube?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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