I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
