we have officially mastered the walk of shame
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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