I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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