Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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