some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
