i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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