she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
