I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I look better un-naked...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
