You made me cry and you don't even care
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
