Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
