Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Enjoy the penises
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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