I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Randomize
