I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Even my vagina gasped.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
