she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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