Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
