Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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