Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize