so that wasnt chicken after all
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
