there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
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No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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