By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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