I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
