I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
