let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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