I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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