I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
