I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
