I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
