He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
