So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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