Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
