she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think people are normalizing furries
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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