suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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