you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.