Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.