Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.